There is a nun sitting outside of a bar. A drunk guy comes up to her and asks if she wants a drink. She goes "No! Drinking is a sin! >:O" And the drunk guy goes "Oh come on, one sip won't hurt.. " Nun says "Ok, I guess.. Wait, get the bartender to put the beer in a teacup, so it looks like I'm drinking tea." So the drunk man goes into the bar and asks the bartender for some beer, and asks for it in a teacup. The bartender goes "IS IT THAT FREAKING NUN AGAIN???!!!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and one is used for carrying groceries.
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking.
Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
A: She grabs a bowl.