Hello and welcome to our community! Is this your first visit?
Register
Page 1 of 688 12341151101501 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 6878
Like Tree46Likes

Thread: The Joke / Funny Picture Thread

  1. #1
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ctf_Ash, but beating Joel.
    Posts
    9,770

    The Joke / Funny Picture Thread

    Keep your jokes to this thread here so the forum doesn't get spammed up.

    Please keep rascist, religious, sexist and other offensive jokes at a low level.
    Post the joke answer in quote brackets and in white colourso the answer is easy to find and hidden when the person reads the joke.


    How many blind men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    I don't care, just make sure you turn off the ceiling fan.
    Code:
    Joke Punchline
    Edit by Nev: Please post funny pictures here as well, because no threads are useless.

  2. #2
    Dedicated Member Jonehoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    991
    How does a redneck take a bubblebath?
    With water, bubblebath liquid and a Jeff Foxworthy CD.
    "That's how I party, that's how I party.."

  3. #3
    Enthusiast Red Shore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
    Posts
    1,520
    You fully stole this idea from me.
    Oh well.
    Shit happens.
    Here's a joke.

    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
    really ticked off

    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
    driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
    up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
    gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
    the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Bob has been missing since Friday.


  4. #4
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Dorset, England
    Posts
    6,792
    Why did the blonde die while racking the leaves?
    She fell out of the tree


    ...........[img]http://**********.com/img/1215620802.jpg[/img]
    LAZYTOWN FOR THE WIN!
    Quote Originally Posted by silverlucario
    Um... Can you please stop calling Kankuro a clown? It's hurting my feelings

  5. #5
    Dedicated Member Cosmonaut's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Stand Alone Complex
    Posts
    979
    3 daughters come up to their dad and say "How did you name us?"

    The first daughter was named lily,and the dad said " we named you that because a lily pedal came and dropped on your head when you were born."

    The second daughter was named petunia, and the dad said" we named you that because a petunia dropped on your head when you were born"

    The third daughter came up and said "NNaaaNaaNaaa!" and the dad said " go back to your room cinderblock."
    [center:1zstuksu]His tears cannot, as he proclaims his love, be held with lightning back;[/center:1zstuksu]

    [center:1zstuksu][/center:1zstuksu]

    [center:1zstuksu]They fondly dance into an open window, and fondly dance with mine.[/center:1zstuksu]

  6. #6
    Insanity Skype's Avatar



    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    27,397
    ok, not a joke, but nether the less amusing,


    Isnt it funny how the word "politics" is made up of "poli" which means "many" in latin and "tics" as in "blood sucking creatures"

  7. #7
    Enthusiast wereZ's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    ? ? ? ?
    Posts
    1,851
    yo momma so fat , she make a whale look like a tic tac . >_>

    an English man and Irish man and a Scottish man find a magical slide.

    the owner tells them that if they shout the word as they slide down , they will land in there chosen wish.

    the English man slides down shouting GOLD! , and soon enough he lands in a mountain of gold , the irish man slides down screaming BEER! , and he lands in a massive bowl of guiness , and lastly the scottish man slides down , but as he slides down his kilt flys up and recieves Burns on his thight , to which he shouts " AH SHIT!" .

  8. #8
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Dorset, England
    Posts
    6,792
    A priest, a vicar, a rabi, a englishman, an irishman and a scotish man all walk into a bar. And the bartender says "What is this? some kind of joke"

    he he >_>


    ...........[img]http://**********.com/img/1215620802.jpg[/img]
    LAZYTOWN FOR THE WIN!
    Quote Originally Posted by silverlucario
    Um... Can you please stop calling Kankuro a clown? It's hurting my feelings

  9. #9
    Devoted Veteran

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    13,811
    Quote Originally Posted by QWERTZ
    You fully stole this idea from me.
    Oh well.
    Shit happens.
    Here's a joke.
    I think Fraz did this first actually.

    Anyway:
    Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants.

    Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroys says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in."

    "But we's privates," protests Jasper. "We's sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside.

    "Now, Jasper, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."

    "But we's privates," says Jasper.

    "You blind, boy?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We's sergeants now."

    So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."

    Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."

    So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay sign.

    Three weeks later Leroy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea.

    "Jasper," he says, "what fo' you give me the okay?"

    "Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhoea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we's sergeants now!"

    Found it on someone's Bebo.

  10. #10
    Enthusiast Red Shore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
    Posts
    1,520
    Quote Originally Posted by Smore
    Quote Originally Posted by QWERTZ
    You fully stole this idea from me.
    Oh well.
    Shit happens.
    Here's a joke.
    I think Fraz did this first actually.

    Anyway:
    Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants.

    Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroys says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in."

    "But we's privates," protests Jasper. "We's sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside.

    "Now, Jasper, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."

    "But we's privates," says Jasper.

    "You blind, boy?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We's sergeants now."

    So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."

    Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."

    So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay sign.

    Three weeks later Leroy is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea.

    "Jasper," he says, "what fo' you give me the okay?"

    "Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhoea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we's sergeants now!"

    Found it on someone's Bebo.
    I'll go dig up the old thing.
    BRB



 
Page 1 of 688 12341151101501 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •