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  1. #1
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Fear Story [UPDATED]

    I have to write an essay on a frightening personal experience for English at school, so I thought I'd post it here. I know it's not the most exciting situation, but Is the sentence structure, etc. Okay?

    I knew the flight would be boring, but not as boring as this.
    I pressed my face against the window, and watched the black fluffy blobs as they drifted below us. I knew I should have brought a book, nothing is more boring than being stuck in a metal tube one thousand feet above the world. The only thing that kept me from crying of boredom and frustration the fact that I'd be home soon.
    The snack lady approached us with her trolley, packed with drinks and sweets, which cheered me up a little. I pulled the tray down from in front of me and waved 5 Euros in the air. "Mars bar and Coke please", I said with an eager voice, I hadn't had a mars bar for 2 weeks. "Sorry, we only accept Sterling sir". I sunk back into my chair and kicked the seat in front of me, annoyed and disappointed. It's funny how someone can get so wound up over a mars bar. I closed my eyes and laid my head against my seat, I was convinced that I would get at least an hours sleep before the plane landed. Soon enough, I drifted off, forgetting my ordeal with the snack lady, and relieving myself from the stress that was tightly gripping my brain.

    I awoke to a loud rumbling sound, but thought nothing of it until I remembered that I was on a plane. Probably just a little turbulence, I thought, wiping away the scary images from my mind. I ignored the chattering of my teeth and attempted to drift back off. I was too tired to worry.
    I awoke again, this time to a much louder crashing noise, Now I was scared.
    I swerved my head around to see what was happening, Several bags and suitcases were lying on the floor, I wiped my eyes and looked around.
    The cabin went black. I jumped out my seat, panic and fear quickly taking over me, only to be knocked back into it. The plane was wildy jerking around, the wings shaking aggresively. This is it, I thought, I'm going to die. I put my head against my chest and wiped my hair with my sweat soaked shirt. I was itchy all over.
    After calming myself down a little, I liften my head up slowly, a choir of screams echoing around me. The cabin flashed. A huge surge of light beamed through the windows, temporarily blinding me. Fear once again enveloped me as I heard a loud rumbling sound. By this point I was certain that my death was near.

    The lights flickered a little, and the cabin lit up, The plane stabilized. I heard the tannoy croak, "Sorry folks, just a bit of turbulence". How glad I was to hear that.
    I settled myself down a little, and took a deep breath, all thoughts of the mars bar forgotten. I tried to put a brave face on, and act like nothing big happened, but the fact that I was blubbering like a baby let me down.
    The sweets lady came back up with her packed trolley. There was no way I'd be able to hold down a mars bar, even if I had the money. I was still shaking all over, and my T-shirt was soaked with sweat and tears. I looked around to make sure everyone else was okay, It seemed like I was worse-off than everyone else. Satisfied, I pressed my face back up against the window and pretended that nothing had happened. It was just a bit of turbulence after all.
    what is homo love?

  2. #2
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    Re: Fear Story

    Nice! Is that the end? Very good, i realy like it! Great work. Got any ideas for a story, i can make?
    [center:14k5nyi7][/center:14k5nyi7]
    [center:14k5nyi7]My PSN: DepartedProphecy[/center:14k5nyi7]

  3. #3
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: Fear Story

    ^Actually, the end is a paragraph to reflect on how you felt, which I didn't bother to post, And thank you, I'm glad you liked it :3

    @Trelen: I'm not too sure about that, I'm only 12, but thank you.
    what is homo love?

  4. #4
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    Re: Fear Story

    That was really good. You should write professionally.
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  5. #5
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    Re: Fear Story

    Hey Hazzy! Got an idea for a story?
    [center:14k5nyi7][/center:14k5nyi7]
    [center:14k5nyi7]My PSN: DepartedProphecy[/center:14k5nyi7]

  6. #6
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: Fear Story

    ^I'll brainstorm for you.

    Fantasy, Housefire, Shooting, Forest, magic.
    what is homo love?

  7. #7
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    Re: Fear Story

    Hmm. I was thinking about a apocalypse story, like the idea?
    [center:14k5nyi7][/center:14k5nyi7]
    [center:14k5nyi7]My PSN: DepartedProphecy[/center:14k5nyi7]

  8. #8
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: Fear Story

    Yes I do. Good Idea.

    Anyway, on topic, anyone else have anything to say about my essay?
    what is homo love?

  9. #9
    Veteran Enthusiast Picto's Avatar


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    Re: Fear Story

    Holy shit, that was epic. I really enjoyed it. You really should write more.

    Is it a true story?
    [center:13w2rfcr]My Thread (updated 26/1/11!)[/center:13w2rfcr][center:13w2rfcr][/center:13w2rfcr] [center:13w2rfcr]Skype: lucienpicto[/center:13w2rfcr][center:13w2rfcr]Steam: _picto[/center:13w2rfcr]
    Quote Originally Posted by StargateSG
    But tell me, what is homo love?

  10. #10
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: Fear Story

    ^Yes it is a true story, and thank you
    what is homo love?


 
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