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Thread: Outbreak

  1. #1
    Veteran Enthusiast

    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    [center:uzow5h3z]"Lud! Get back here, we need you!"
    No response.
    "Come on man, we're running out of time!"
    Still no response.
    "Where the hell can you be right now!?"
    I got up and ran across the plains, sweat dripping down my face, until I found Lud laid down on the ground, no expression on his face. I bent down to listen to his heartbeat, it was very faint and slow. A few seconds later I heard nothing. I picked up Lud and walked back to the van telling the others, "He's...dead."
    Everybody got up and walked up as I laid Lud on the ground and bent down. I stared at his face.
    "This is all my fault," I said.
    Nobody agreed, telling me it wasn't my fault, that it was all going to be alright.
    "Bullshit," I replied. "He wouldn't be here on the ground, dead, if I had gone with him."
    I got up and walked away with a tear coming down on my right cheek. I didn't want the others to see me like this.
    My name is Nicolas. Now I'm not special in any way, nor do I think I am. I'm just your average guy, but, what happens to an average guy during an outbreak of zombies? That's where it gets complicated.
    It all started on a surprisingly warm day in the middle of Winter. Many people were surprised as they left they're warm home covered in fifty jackets to find themselves burning up outside. Other than that, everybody thought it was just a normal day. Until the sun went down at 3PM. Then people started to freak out.
    I went outside and looked up at the sky to find a small hole smack dab in to the middle of the sky. I turn my back for a second and look back to find zombies jumping out. Oddly enough, I was the only one to notice, so I screamed at everybody to look up, and then I ran to my good buddy Lud.
    Lud, or Ludvig Titov, is my best friend, we have been since the third grade. We always did everything together, and I never missed a thing about him.
    Lud and I ran across the town looking for our friends to warn them about the upcoming outbreak. Few believed us, while some ran around screaming, and the rest just sat there and ignored us. Little do they know that they would get their brains eaten by zombies. Oh well.
    Lud, Jonah, Adrian, and I ran to the gun store to prepare for the outbreak. We got in Adrian's van packed with technological things that I had no idea about. Every now and then I would ask him, and it would take several hours to go through everything about everything, and I would listen until I got sick of it and put tape on Adrian's mouth.
    Me and Lud sat in the back while Jonah sat next to the drivers seat. We each had a pocket knife, five dollars, and a shotgun. We knew this wasn't going to keep us alive for too long, but hey, at least we had something.
    Lud finally spoke after an hour of driving in silence, "Where the hell are we even going?"
    "You'll see in a minute or two," Adrian replied.
    "Dammit Adrian, can't you ever just say something straight to the point?" Lud said with a puzzled look on his face.
    "Nope," replied Adrian again.
    In a few minutes we parked in a driveway and Adrian simply said as he got out of the van, "Follow me."
    We did, and eventually we found ourselves in a room the size of a football field. It was filled with televisions, computers, and a bunch of other technological stuff.
    "So many buttons to push, so little time," Lud said, with a cheerful tone. Everybody laughed as he ran across the room pretending to press every button everywhere.
    Lud finally stopped when everybody stopped laughing and Adrian walked to the biggest screen in the room. He started typing and clicking, and I had no idea where the hell he was going with this, but eventually, a window popped up. It had some sort of chart on it.
    Then I realized what it was. It showed a date, and next to it was all the supernatural activity that happened on that certain date.
    I never noticed anything that happened, but then again, all I do during the day is eat chips and watch wrestling.
    He typed in the date "June 21, 2007," which was today. Next to it, he wrote "Black hole emerges in the sky." I said I was going outside to check out the black hole and what was going on outside. Lud came with me, of course.
    Before we could even reach the door, we could hear a faint sound, something like a moan. We looked out the window and Lud almost screamed at the sight of it. I peeked as well, and I saw it. Five hundred--no, five thousand zombies roaming the streets. People were screaming and running from these terrible things, and they were everywhere.
    Lud ran back to Adrian's so-called "lab," and told everybody to bring their weapons and come down.[/center:uzow5h3z]

    I'm still not done, as I continue this I'll add to it.

  2. #2
    Enthusiast Legohs's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Fort myers, Florida

    Re: Outbreak

    Very nice story, it just didn't suck me into it like a real novel. I think you should use some more interesting vocabulary and edit some words here and there, but for the most part your grammar is right. Another thing is that it isn't that dramatic, you could have made things happen a little slower, like...
    "I looked over my shoulder, only to find that no one was following me. I started to run across the plain, sweat dripping down the side of my face "Lud! Lud!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, I wondered what was wrong, surely he couldn't have been killed, could he? As I was running I nearly tripped on something, I glanced back, and it was merely a carcass. Much to common in this part of town. I decided to scavenge his body for money, credit cards, identification, or anything else that might help us survive. I reached slowly in his back pocket and got a hold of his wallet, opened it up and just stared at it for a moment. It was Lud's driver license. I threw all the wallet down to the ground and run back to the meeting place, tear rushing down my face."
    That is just something I came up with off the top of my head so I'm sure it isn't perfect, but feel free to draw off of any of the ideas I used. Good work on the story though.


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