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  1. #1
    Enthusiast

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    Dec 2007
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    The Creak - the subliminal volume v1

    Pretty much, this is a story I'm writing. Enjoy!

    As Ian looked up to the bleak, pale blue sky, his spirit dropped to rock bottom. The splintery, rough wood of the outside table (or the creak, as michael likes to call it) was not in any case comfortable, and by no means good sleeping ground. It amazed him how the colony could fall asleep on this peice of crap they called home. While the pack was sleeping like rocks, the small colonist boy, Ian, was restless. For one reason, it was 1:20 in the afternoon. The colonists slept 12 hours a day, at least. At the most, a normal colonist slept 18 hours per day. One time, a colonist slept a whole 24 hours, straight into the next day, but a man like that isn't what someone would call normal. Ian concluded that the reason the colonists slept so long was that there was never anything to do on the creak. Day after day, the colonists were slaves to routine. Every morning the sun would rise, the day would come, the day would conclude and night would fall, the dodos (or the humans, as they call themselves) would eat dinner at 6:45 PM sharp, and all the colonists would still be sleeping. Since they couldn't find an activity mentally stimulating enough to keep their brains attentive for more than 15 seconds, they took refuge in the deepest recesses of their imaginations. They found enjoyability in dreaming. Dreams of something beyond the creak. Something bigger than the secluded island on which they lived. Something than can only be acheived in imagination. Or so the colonists thought. Little Ian, the one colonist who actually considered jumping straight off of the creak, planned to make his wildest imagination become reality. That, my friend, is where my story comes in.
    [center:3os0a0g2]KATY PERRY DRESSES LIKE A FREAKING CLOWN. [/center:3os0a0g2]

  2. #2
    Enthusiast

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    Re: The Creak - the subliminal volume v1

    His name isn't Lan. It's ian, with an I. iiiiiiiiian.
    [center:3os0a0g2]KATY PERRY DRESSES LIKE A FREAKING CLOWN. [/center:3os0a0g2]

  3. #3
    Fanatic Enthusiast Deimos's Avatar

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    Oct 2008
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    Kansas
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    Re: The Creak - the subliminal volume v1

    It didn't quite catch my attention but I read it anyways because it was short. It has potential to be a good story, just add a little more detail, and try to catch the readers attention at the beginning, it is pretty interesting, pm when the rest of it is out!
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