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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    :3
    Posts
    254

    Re: A Merry Christmas

    Awesome. Coolest story ive read in a long time, bit too gory though ;]
    Just a tad sick in the head :P

    +Engaging.
    +Nice Punctuation.
    +Vocabulary

    -Discourse Markers.
    -Linking Paragraphs
    -Ending was kind of confusing, keep writing.

  2. #2
    #1 KUMIHO Ahri's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Fields of Justice
    Posts
    3,702

    Re: A Merry Christmas

    Way too gory, but good plot and story. 9999/10000, just because it was gory. No I'm just kidding. 10/10. BTW, where'd you get the name Marcus Fekar?
    Fekar messed around is Faker.

  3. #3
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    33

    Re: A Merry Christmas

    Nice Christmas Story( super sarcasm) why did you make it on Christmas Eve if it has huge amounts of gore.

  4. #4
    Veteran Enthusiast Nour's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Posts
    7,761

    Re: A Merry Christmas

    We have to get you published.

    You'll be the new JK Rowling, that was the shit man.

    [center:akkfv4h7][/center:akkfv4h7]

    [center:akkfv4h7]"Fuck off bitch, I've got legos to construct."[/center:akkfv4h7]

  5. #5
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    33

    Re: A Merry Christmas

    I see

    BN - Refrain from making 1 - 3 worded posts.


 

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