Hello and welcome to our community! Is this your first visit?
Register
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Fanatic Enthusiast

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    TOKYO
    Posts
    2,644

    The Missing Piece

    The Missing Piece
    If this should be put into the same thread as my other story The Ring let me know and I will put it there.

    Part I

    ....I opened my eyes and saw that I was sitting at a tiny green table, staring at a mess of colors and shapes. My eyes focused and I realized I was doing a puzzle. Three whales seemed to be leaping out of the puzzle. I flinched because they looked real. but wait, the middle whale was missing a big chunk of flesh, wait, there was a puzzle peice missing.
    ...."Shawn?" A voice whispered. I wondered where it was from. "Shawn!" this time it was louder.
    ....Something grabbed at my head and pulled my eyes away from the puzzle and onto a kid, about 15 years old with shoulder-length black hair, covering his right eye. Then I realized it was my brother Alan.
    ...."Huh?" Was all I said.
    ...."You okay?" He asked.
    ...."Uh, oh, yeah," I answered quietly and blinked three or four times. "Must have been another blackout."
    ...."Oh," Alan took a peice of coral and put it into place on the puzzle next to a big lionfish.
    ...."Hey," I started searching for peices. "Why the hell are we doing a puzzle anyways?"
    ...."You don't remember?" Alan furrowed his brow at me.
    ...."No, I don't think."
    ...."There's nothing else to do." Alan looked down at the puzzle and tried a peice where the whale was missing. "The power's out, remember?"
    ...."Oh, yeah." I said, like I remembered, but I really didn't.
    ....I have a strange disease, I'm one of very few in the world. Only two people have been diagnosed with my disease, me and this guy from Japan name Hajime or something. My disease is Alberckston Disease, named after the guy who did tests on the Asian dude. I would have blackouts for no reason, and when I woke up parts of my memory would be missing. Sometimes a whole day would be missing, other times just a minute or two. Either way, it was a huge bother. Someone would ask me to do something, I would start, and then after a blackout I would have to ask what I was just about to do.
    ...."I hope the power's back by tommorow." Alan said. I didn't answer so he said, "Do you remember what tommorow is?
    ...."No,"
    ...."We're flying to texas to see Grandpa." Alan pushed his chair back and stood up.
    ...."Oh yeah, I remember." I wasn't faking, I remembered now. Sometimes if someone reminded me I would remember bits and peices.
    ...."We should probably get to sleep, the plane leaves early tommorow." Alan started walking up the stairs.
    ....I stood up and followed him. "G'night," I said and went to my bedroom. I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Or maybe I had another blackout, there is really no way to tell.



    ....I looked out a small window and saw, woa, clouds. Must have been another damn blackout. I was on a fairly large plane when I looked around. Not too many people but the plane was pretty big. I was sitting in the window seat looking out over the sky. The clouds parted and I saw that we were over a sea of water. Probably the Gulf of Mexico. We lived at the very bottom of florida and to get to texas we had to fly over the Gulf of Mexico.
    ....Suddenly I heard screaming, and my ears started popping. Everything happened so fast, I didn't know what was going on. I managed to get my oxegen mask on before I blacked out again.


    Everything was blue, and very dark. When my vision focused I was looking at the bottom of a starfish. I realized I was in the plane and looking out the window still but now a starfish was climbing on it. I screamed. “W-where the hell am I?” I yelled.
    ....Alan reached over and grabbed my mouth to shut me up. My shouts were muffled for a while until I stopped yelling.
    ....“Shut up.” Alan whispered. He looked at me and remembered that I had no idea what was going on. He pointed out the window across the aisle. I saw a huge whale. It was so big that I knew why everyone was not making a noise. Whales have excellent hearing, and it had probably heard me.
    ....This whale looked exactly like the whale from the puzzle. It’s eye was just a bit lopsided, and when it turned to the other side, I noticed that it was missing a puzzle piece shaped bit.
    ....I glanced at Alan and he didn’t seem to think it was odd that this whale’s side had a gaping puzzle piece missing in it. Maybe I was imagining things.
    ....The whale had heard my screams. It started swimming at top speed towards the plane. When he ran into it all the windows shattered and water poured in through them. Everyone was screaming at once and trying to get out of the plane. That’s the last thing I remember.


    Part II

    Of all the blackouts I've ever had, this was the worst. Up until June 24th, 2003, the longest my memory had ever gone out was 20 days. But then in the middle of June, my record was broken. A blackout erased an entire 6 years of my memory.
    ....I woke up at 12:14 In the middle of the night. The last thing I remembered is watching a giant whale ram into a sunken plane with me inside. I sat up in my bed and felt in the dark for a lamp. I found one and switched it on.
    ...."Damnit!" I yelled. I had no idea how long my memory had been gone, but I knew it was longer than had ever happened.
    ...."Are you okay?" I turned to look at the voice beside me. It was a woman, about 20 years old, blonde hair, pretty face, and a nice body.
    ...."Who the hell are you?" I cried and jumped out of bed.
    ...."Uh..." She looked confused. Then I realized, she was my wife. Holy hell. "It's me, Lauren!"
    ....Lauren, nice name. Wait, where have I heard that name before? "Lauren Sampson?" I asked.
    ...."Used to be." She said softly.
    ....Lauren Sampson was the hottest girl in my highschool class. Wow, I was doing good.
    ...."Oh my god!" I moaned.
    ...."What's going on?" Lauren asked with a hint of anger in her voice.
    ...."It must have been a blackout." I murmured and turned around. "How old am I?"
    ...."21"
    ....I looked down at my feet and whispered, "6 years."


    TBC

  2. #2
    Fanatic Enthusiast

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    TOKYO
    Posts
    2,644

    Re: The Missing Piece

    Thanks for that, yeah I've never been able to spell that word lol.
    Yeah well I have quite a bit of excitement planned for shawn still.

  3. #3
    Fanatic Enthusiast

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    TOKYO
    Posts
    2,644

    Re: The Missing Piece

    Sorry for the DP, but it's ok since I have an update, right?

    ---------------------------------------------

    Everything was blue, and very dark. When my vision focused I was looking at the bottom of a starfish. I realized I was in the plane and looking out the window still but now a starfish was climbing on it. I screamed. “W-where the hell am I?” I yelled.
    Alan reached over and grabbed my mouth to shut me up. My shouts were muffled for a while until I stopped yelling.
    “Shut up.” Alan whispered. He looked at me and remembered that I had no idea what was going on. He pointed out the window across the aisle. I saw a huge whale. It was so big that I knew why everyone was not making a noise. Whales have excellent hearing, and it had probably heard me.
    This whale looked exactly like the whale from the puzzle. It’s eye was just a bit lopsided, and when it turned to the other side, I noticed that it was missing a puzzle piece shaped bit.
    I glanced at Alan and he didn’t seem to think it was odd that this whale’s side had a gaping puzzle piece missing in it. Maybe I was imagining things.
    The whale had heard my screams. It started swimming at top speed towards the plane. When he ran into it all the windows shattered and water poured in through them. Everyone was screaming at once and trying to get out of the plane. That’s the last thing I remember.

  4. #4
    Enthusiast SuperSTi's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    |: 0
    Posts
    1,547

    Re: The Missing Piece

    Quote Originally Posted by Gawdzilla
    this guy from Japan name Chin Wun Wang or something.
    Fuck that annoys me so much, please make that name Japanese.
    Just so you know, those phonetics cannot be written, spoken, or even exist in that language. Here's a Japanese alphabet and pronunciation guide, and I'll also throw in a list of Japanese names, just because it kills me so much.

    http://www.eldonline.com/japanese-lessons/jlesson1.html
    http://www.20000-names.com/male_japanese_names.htm

    You are also now denied critique.
    Though I'll say that you forgot a "d" in that sentence.
    [center:3346oc0h][/center:3346oc0h]
    [center:3346oc0h]Blog Anims Art[/center:3346oc0h]

  5. #5
    Fanatic Enthusiast

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    TOKYO
    Posts
    2,644

    Re: The Missing Piece

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperSTi5
    Quote Originally Posted by Gawdzilla
    this guy from Japan name Chin Wun Wang or something.
    Fuck that annoys me so much, please make that name Japanese.
    Just so you know, those phonetics cannot be written, spoken, or even exist in that language. Here's a Japanese alphabet and pronunciation guide, and I'll also throw in a list of Japanese names, just because it kills me so much.

    http://www.eldonline.com/japanese-lessons/jlesson1.html
    http://www.20000-names.com/male_japanese_names.htm
    Oh thanks. Yeah I was offline when I wrote this and I didn't feel like looking up a chinese name. I changed it to hajime (it means beginning, I thought it was meaningful since he was the first man to have the disease.)

    Critique now please?

  6. #6
    Fanatic Enthusiast

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    TOKYO
    Posts
    2,644

    Re: The Missing Piece

    UPDATE.
    Part II

    Of all the blackouts I've ever had, this was the worst. Up until June 24th, 2003, the longest my memory had ever gone out was 20 days. But then in the middle of June, my record was broken. A blackout erased an entire 6 years of my memory.
    ....I woke up at 12:14 In the middle of the night. The last thing I remembered is watching a giant whale ram into a sunken plane with me inside. I sat up in my bed and felt in the dark for a lamp. I found one and switched it on.
    ...."Damnit!" I yelled. I had no idea how long my memory had been gone, but I knew it was longer than had ever happened.
    ...."Are you okay?" I turned to look at the voice beside me. It was a woman, about 20 years old, blonde hair, pretty face, and a nice body.
    ...."Who the hell are you?" I cried and jumped out of bed.
    ...."Uh..." She looked confused. Then I realized, she was my wife. Holy hell. "It's me, Lauren!"
    ....Lauren, nice name. Wait, where have I heard that name before? "Lauren Sampson?" I asked.
    ...."Used to be." She said softly.
    ....Lauren Sampson was the hottest girl in my highschool class. Wow, I was doing good.
    ...."Oh my god!" I moaned.
    ...."What's going on?" Lauren asked with a hint of anger in her voice.
    ...."It must have been a blackout." I murmured and turned around. "How old am I?"
    ...."21"
    ....I looked down at my feet and whispered, "6 years."

  7. #7
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    158

    Re: The Missing Piece

    Very cool, it kept me reading for a while, but it seemed kind of like The Titans, or whatever that books called with Percy Jackson.


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •