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  1. #1
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    [center:24hb5lxq]PULSE[/center:24hb5lxq]

    I was sitting at home reading a book, and waiting for the microwave to go off. After what felt like an eternity, it finally beeped, and I jumped up from my chair. I almost didn’t hear the beeps over the loud storm, but it was lucky I did. I was absolutely starving, and the Ramen in that annoying, beeping box was calling my name. My parents were out on their anniversary dinner, and my brother and I were home alone, so dinner was my own responsibility for once. I jumped up and raced into the kitchen, tripping on the cord from a lamp. I went sprawling head over heels. My brother looked up from the computer. “Nice moves slick!” I scowled at him from the floor. He laughed and turned back around. I got up and went to the kitchen. I opened the ‘wave and got out the bowl. I drained as much water as I could, and then added the flavor. The smell of chicken made my mouth water. I grabbed a fork and headed down the hall, to the back room where we keep our other computer. I walked into the room, shut the door, turned the computer on, and began scarfing my food. The ramen was still way to hot when I put it in my mouth, and I torched my tongue. “Ow! God!” I yelled, and spat the food back into my bowl. I heard my brother laugh from the living room. “Thut up!” I yelled, my speech slurring as my tongue swelled. He laughed harder and started teasing me “Whath the matter? Ith the food to hot?” “Not funny!” I yelled back. He just laughed a third time. I grumbled a bit, and turned to the computer. I opened my iTunes and clicked the web browser. After a few minutes of good music, my mood improved, and my food had cooled enough to eat. I ate fast while reading a few new messages. When I was done, I put the bowl down, and belched loudly. Suddenly my phone vibrated. I looked at it, New Text Message. The sender was 9009877087, definitely wasn’t a phone number. I opened the text and just saw more numbers. The entire thing was filled with them. “What the hell?” I thought. I figured that it either must be a test from the phone company, or a joke sent by an instant messenger. I shrugged it off and put my phone in my pocket.

    Twenty minutes later, I was checking my YouTube account when the phone rang this time. I opened it and my friend began yelling loudly. At first I thought he was in trouble, but I quickly realized he was drunk out of his mind. He was rambling on about how I should go and stand up on the hill with a metal pole because it would be an “enlightening experience” I just quietly shut the phone. As soon as I did, it rang again. I opened it, expecting the drunken rants again, and instead I got a weird sequence of oscillations and beeps. I shut the phone and wondered if the thunderstorm was interfering with the tower. I decided to shut off the computer, because it was getting bad out. I hit the power button, and the screen went blank. I turned to leave the room when the phone rang again. I looked at the screen. The incoming call was from 4545450000. I opened the phone and put it to my ear.

    Do you know the mechanical voice you get when you dial an out of service number? That female robot who always says “we’re sorry, but the number you have reached is not in service at this time?” Well that was the voice floating out of my earpiece, but it wasn’t doing the sorry routine. “Eight…six…four…get out now…four…seven…nine…run while you can…three…eight…eight…” Suddenly I really didn’t want to be in that room anymore. I shut the phone and began running to the door. Suddenly the lights blasted out with a high pitch whine. I screamed, tripped, and hit the floor. In a panic, I began crawling toward the exit. There was a pulsing quality to the air now, a kind of thrum…thrum…thrum… It resonated all in my head. I stood up and started walking to the door. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. I reached out for the handle, and my hand looked like it was going through a molasses pit. The pulsing was getting loud. Thrum…Thrum…Thrum! My head pounded with each beat. I leaned for the door, but I was too far away. I started to fall. When I managed to right myself, my phone rang again. I slowly pulled it from my pocket and pulled it open.

    My brother’s voice drifted from the earpiece, static-y and distorted. “Where…you? Where are you?” “I’m in the back!” I told him, “What the hell is going on?” He didn’t seem to hear me. “Went…back to find you…not there…lights are out…door is stuck! Can’t…out!” I yelled at the phone “I’m in the back! Do you hear me? The back!” He replied, now sounding hysterical. “Help!...need…out!...door stuck!” Then the phone clicked and began making the weird oscillations again. I swore and closed the phone.

    The pulsing was incredibly unbearable. THRUM…THRUM…THRUM… I felt a moistness as blood began seeping from my nose. I fell to one knee, clutching my head. The pulse was getting louder and louder, each one sending another burst of blood from my nose and ears. I collapsed to the ground. I slowly crawled for the door, and I reached up and grasped the knob. As soon as I touched it, the pulses lowered and became bearable. I pulled myself up, and tried the knob. The door was indeed stuck, as my brother had been yelling. I twisted the knob as hard as I could, but it didn’t move. I threw my shoulder into the door, and bounced right off. I tried again, yelling loudly. I hit and bounced off again. The pulses, although in the background, were still noticeable, and they were picking up speed thrum thrum thrum. I something was coming, I could feel it. Crying now, I tossed myself into the door again. This time, I felt something give. Whatever was holding the door back was weakening. thrumthrumthrumthrum Close now, Whatever it was was very close. Gathering myself, I went hard into the door a final time. This time the door blew open, and both I and my brother flew out of the frame. We landed on the floor in a pile. I looked over at him, and saw blood all over his face, and shirt. I was also coated in blood from my ears and nose.

    We both slowly stood up, and looked dazedly at each other. My brother spoke first “I went back there…when the lights went out…I was worried about you…” Suddenly he pitched forward into me. I caught him before he hit the ground. As I was laying him down he came to. His eyes opened, and they were clearer and focused. He sat up. “What was that? What the fuck was that?” Before I could answer, my phone rang again. So did his. We both picked up the phones, and put them up.

    The female voice drifted out from the earpiece again. “You may think you’re troubles are over, but you are wrong. They are just beginning. It is coming!” “What is coming?” I thought, and then I realized I probably didn’t want to find out. I pulled the phone down, and looked over. My brother’s face was pure white, and I knew he had gotten the same or a similar message. “We need to get out of here” I said. “Come on.” Slowly, almost dazedly, he followed me into the dining room. As we entered the room, a new noise filled the void where the pulse had been, a high pitched whine. Waaaaaaaaaaaaahh! I stumbled over to the table. My brother seemed to have collected himself. “Come on move!” He said. I got my footing again. The whine was getting unbearable. waaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH!!! Whatever was causing it was getting closer

    My brother and I stumbled into the front landing, and headed for the front door. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The whine was overwhelming, I couldn’t bear it. I yanked the door open, and my brother and I lurched out onto the lawn. We stumbled and raced down the hill toward the road. The whine had gotten incredible, and lights were flashing everywhere in the house.

    Suddenly there was a load roar, and the house exploded. All of the windows burst outward, and the frame blew apart. The house was gone in a matter of a second. At the same time, the strange lights subsided. My brother and I raced toward the road, and a car stopped as we raced in front of it. The driver got out, saw the both of us soaked in blood, and raced over. I fell onto the road, and landed on my back. The man from the car stood over me, and I got two words out. “House…gone…” before I passed out.


    The newspapers called it a gas explosion from our propane tank. My brother and I both know it was no propane tank.


    Two months later, my brother and I were sitting in our apartment that we had rented after the house was gone. I was reading a book, and he was watching TV. My phone rang, and I picked it up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother doing the same. The voice came from my receiver again. “Four…two…eight…you didn’t get away…one…one…seven…you have no hope.” I slowly put the phone down, and looked at my brother. We slowly stood up. Suddenly the lights blew out.



    [center:24hb5lxq]THRUM…THRUM…THRUM…[/center:24hb5lxq]


    Author's note (I've ALWAYS wanted to say that =p): The dream was only a fraction of this story. It was from when I got the first phone call, until right before I ran outside. Everything else was simply me making a story out of it.

    The dream was much better than the story, I can't really capture the mood in words. When I woke up from it, at 430am, I was too terrified to move. It also kept giving me goosebumps all day. The dream was wildly scary for me, especially because I HATE that mechanical voice. Gives me the shivers.

    On the side, In the room I was stuck in in the dream, the door actually opens INWARD, so me bashing into it shouldn't have made it open. It did in the dream. Go figure!

    Flash
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  2. #2
    Devoted Veteran
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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    God damn, dude. That was one awesome story, very entertaining. I saw a couple errors in spelling, but overall that's great.

  3. #3
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Thanks.

    I fixed a lot of errors. If anyone sees more, please tell me. I also spaced a bit, made it easier to read. Please keep commenting!

    I'll read yours if you'll read mine!

    Flash
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  4. #4
    Fanatic Enthusiast Shannon's Avatar


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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Their are still some spelling errors in the story, but overall was nice, good story line, and it kept my attention. There are also some grammar problems, like incomplete sentences which make it harder to read, other than that good job.

  5. #5
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Quote Originally Posted by CodeMachine
    Very scary, creepy, distorted. I enjoyed it, and I will put it up on the Master Literature List myself.
    You're kidding! lol sweet. Thanks alot.

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  6. #6
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    The first sentence is worded terribly, but the rest of the story is pretty good.
    what is homo love?

  7. #7
    M G
    M G is offline
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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    God do I love stories like this. That was purely awesome, I was so into the story I hardly noticed any grammar mistakes, lol. That was amazing, like CM said, Truly great shit. But what happened to the parents..?

    Can't stop Reading this story.

    stay legend

  8. #8
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Quote Originally Posted by -MG-
    God do I love stories like this. That was purely awesome, I was so into the story I hardly noticed any grammar mistakes, lol. That was amazing, like CM said, Truly great shit. But what happened to the parents..?

    Can't stop Reading this story.
    The parents are at an anniversary dinner. I said that in a sentence snippet. Should I expand that a bit? Is it unclear?

    Flash
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  9. #9
    M G
    M G is offline
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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Slightly. Yeah, I mean, even if they are at the anniversary dinner, surely at the ending they would have been with the brothers..?

    But it's your option, whatever you think would be best.

    stay legend

  10. #10
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    Re: My story: Pulse. (based on a dream I had)

    Very nice. I think if i was to give any CC at all it would be that you should space it out a bit. Break a new line for each section of speech.

    Other than that, a bit slow to start off but very good midway and towards the end. Keep it up!
    [center:37vlglb9][/center:37vlglb9]
    [center:37vlglb9]My Art[/center:37vlglb9]
    [center:37vlglb9]My Story[/center:37vlglb9]


 
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