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  1. #1
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    Mar 2009
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    Black and White (Working title) - Chapter 4's up

    Alright, hey DD . Im not new I just decided to create this account recently since it was getting boring just reading topics.

    I've decided that I'm not going to get many responses so I'm going to just turn it into a story. Feedback would be appreciated, cheers!

    Alright here goes...


    [centermcy8zb1]Story so far:[/centermcy8zb1]

    A new life in the big city - New York. Newcomer Jack Blackburn from London plans to make his mark. No kids, no wife, no living parents. It is one day after the mysterious creatures invaded. He finds himself locked inside his room, staring bleakely into what was once New York city.

    [centermcy8zb1]Chapter 1[/centermcy8zb1]

    I was sitting on my bed, deathly still. I felt my fists clenched white. Cold beads of sweat ran down my forehead and glistened in the pale light. I could hear my own breaths coming out in ragged gasps. The silence as if it were a noise. I could see nothing but darkness. Something erupted into light outside my window that lit the room for a moment, but I payed no attention.

    No, I was staring at the door handle that was slowly turning.

    The door creaked open very slowly. I could see a shadow against a dully-lit background of the hallway. It was a man from the stature, I could tell that much. A beam of light leaked through the door and along the floor. The door opened more, this time slightly more cautiously. The beam crept up onto the bead, onto me, onto my face.

    “Male civilian found on the 29th!” The shadow suddenly said in a quiet but somewhat questioning voice. I almost jumped I was so frightened. Who were they? What should I do?

    There was a crackling and a muted voice resounded back.

    “Alright… bring him back … running out of time. Leave him if… restrains. You … twenty minutes … area is blown … hurry up.”

    The voice disappeared with the static

    The door opened right up now and another figure appeared with a second beam of light. Both fell on me.

    “Come on, sir! We have to leave the building now.” The voice came, “You come or stay. Your choice.” I was frozen. Fear had taken over my entire body and mind. What do I do?

    [centermcy8zb1]Chapter 2[/centermcy8zb1]

    Two Days Earlier

    Daniel Bates leaned back in his chair and sighed. Numbers and graphs flickered on his computer monitor and he watched them lazily. Always the same, he thought.

    He turned up the sound on his radio as his favorite song started playing and fit the headphones over his ears, tapping his foot on the floor and miming the drum solo. Suddenly the music cut out and a high-pitched whistle broke through the headset followed quickly by static.

    God that hurt, Daniel thought, ripping the headphones off his ears angrily. He pulled the headphone cord from the tiny radio and turned the sound down. Cheap piece of crap.

    “We apologies for that, folks. We seem to be having some technical difficulties. Please - ” The radio host was cut out. Only a slight wave of static could be heard through the speakers.

    Daniel sighed and flicked the station, but his bored expression soon became puzzled as all the stations he turned to hissed with static. He flicked frequencies. Nothing.

    “Hey, Dan, have a look at this.”

    “What’s up?” Bates spun in his chair and rolled over to David Blare who was frowning at his computer while pushing the headphone receiver harder to his ear. He then shrugged and handed the set over to Daniel, who promptly put it on.

    “Been like this for about a minute now. Seems like there is some kind of high wave frequency that is messing with our satellites. Listen closely.” Blare tapped silently on his keyboard and a wavelength measure snapped up on the screen.

    Every second there was a high-keyed beep that corresponded with the wave on the screen.

    Sounds almost like… sonar, Daniel thought, glancing back at Blare who was wringing his hands nervously.

    [centermcy8zb1]Chapter 3[/centermcy8zb1]
    [centermcy8zb1]Follow on from CH1...[/centermcy8zb1]

    I rose slowly from my position, hardly noticing the cramps that ran through my muscles. I took a slow step forward, keeping my eyes on the two soldiers before me. The world spun around me and I dropped to my knees, grasping at my head and throwing up across the carpet.

    “We don’t have time for this!” I looked up bleakly to see a shadow rush at me and felt my body heaved from the floor. I groaned weakly but I slowly felt consciousness slip away from me…


    Darkness surrounded me. It took a moment for me to realise that I was being dragged, a strong arm wrapped around my back and my arm around the others. I could also feel my legs moving of their own accord, but that’s all I felt. Gravel jumped at my feet from the constant thud, and flashes of white and yellow lit my legs and arms.

    The ground rushed up to meet me.

    “Keep moving! Don’t stop!” My eyes drifted up and I saw two boots by my head. Two strong hands lifted me up and we were moving again. All I could here was my heart beating like a drum, and my breaths coming out in sharp gasps.

    Slowly my sense began to return, and a bottle was thrust into my chest. I took it with numb fingers as I ran, unscrewing the lid with shaking fingers and let it slosh into my mouth.

    Almost instantly, I became aware of the stinging sensation in my nose, the throbbing headache, the glaring flashes, deafening booms, chattering gunfire and the screams, the echoing screams…

    I felt something slip from under my arm and my back. I turned to see the soldier pushing himself up from the ground. He shouted something at me over the noise but I couldn’t hear it. Forcing my sore legs into action, I ran back and lifted him from the ground with the help of a second soldier and we were back into action.

    Two jets arced across the black sky, lit only but the red lights on their wingtips. Suddenly the soldiers beside me increased their pace. I could hear them shouting into my ear. The words came slurred and incoherent to me, and I just gasped and kept running.

    Then I felt it.

    The earth shook beneath my feet as the bombs hit, and moments later the shockwave hit me like a dumping wave. All three of us almost lost our footing as the sound and the pressure of the explosion flowed past us. My back begun to grow warm and I gasped as my shirt touched the gaping wounds. That’s when it became too much and I felt that welcome, calming sensation of unconsciousness.

    [centermcy8zb1]Chapter 4[/centermcy8zb1]

    Images flashed before my eyes. Time seemed to crawl slowly, savouring the moment. My ears screamed with pain but it was all so silent. I heard something clink on the concrete beside me. Empty and smoking cartages bounced against the ground, leaving the sound ringing in my ears. My eyes crept up to the back of a soldier who’s mouth was wide open, sharp hawk eyes that sparkled in the gunfire like sun off water’s surface.

    The sound hit me like a brick wall. The earth shook and rumbled like thunder and a building in the distance crumbled, the side splitting and then razed to the ground like an avalanche. Smoke filtered the sunlight and caused the air to appear brown and grey. But behind the screen stood unspeakable horrors. Huge black pyres rose high far past the clouds, as narrow as the Empire State building it lent against, but four times as tall. A single strand of blue lights ran up the vertical side, sparkling in the dust-clad sky.

    A dark shadow burst into my view. I wanted to scream, to crawl away and find a corner to pull myself into and close my eyes to the horrors of the universe. A huge gaping maw snapped before my eyes, revealing finger long blades dripping with saliva and blood. I felt myself grow dizzy from the stench, the reek of the dead and rotten. I dared a glance to the unnamed soldier, but he law fallen, decapitated with his gun scattered on the ground inches from his lifeless fingers.

    I grew angry. I didn’t know why, but my sense began to grow sharp in the fleeting split seconds before my life ended. I felt the creature on top of me; it’s arms bearing through my shoulders and it’s mind savouring the kill. My hand swung up on it’s own accord, and the rock in my fist snapped hard against the creatures head. It was lighter than I realised, and my arm kept going after the initial swing.

    Suddenly searing pain in my back roared through my brain like a tsunami of magma. I gasped and red and yellow lights danced across my eyes. My fingers started to bleed from my hold on the rock and I squeezed harder.

    The shape before me began to rise, and it looked at me. I was held there, fear clenching it’s cold, rancid hand around my heart. A sudden adrenaline rush made me forget the pain, and made my body force itself into action. The creature was rising, screaming an awful symphony of death in my direction. I forced my arms to push, and I stumbled to my feet, the world spinning around my eyes. I stumbled backwards and tripped, just as the creature began it’s pounce. My hand wrapped around something.

    Three loud gunshots rung out in the deserted street, echoing off the buildings. The creature screamed as the shots slammed through it’s chest and on in the side of the neck. It slammed into the ground beside me, knocked aside by the gunfire. I gasped and took long, draughty breaths, thanking God with each one.

    Chapter 5

    2 days earlier

    Wind howled across the waters of Manhattan. The Statue of Liberty stood in the hazy distance, covered in a thick veil of rain. The sea was white capped as far as the eye could see, giving a somewhat picturesque seen for any passerby that might take a moment from his hurrying campaign to get home and dry.

    One of such was Michael Wright, who took it all happily as he walked casually down the side path. He gazed lazily at the tiny droplets of water falling from his umbrella, each reflecting clearly in the red and yellow lights of a busy street. He squinted out to sea, watching as the waves crashed against the sides of the statue, roaring high into the sky.

    Something caught his eye, however. A dark haze in the clouds began to appear. At first, he thought it was just another cloud formation. But this held its shape, and grew steadily bigger.

    “What the hell is that?”

    Wright looked over his shoulder, glancing at a woman who had stopped beside him, also staring into the clouds. Several people in their cars also store out as the blur defined lines and small lights blinked into view, shimmering in the heavy rain.

    Something dropped off the side and tumbled down into the water with a thundering crash and huge wave. Then a second and third and forth until hundreds of bus sized compartments were tumbling through the air.

    Wright gripped his umbrella tighter. There was a crash somewhere behind him and a resounding symphony of horn blares but he took no notice. A crowd had begun to form, and several people had their phones out, covering them with their hands and arms. Others turned and ran.

    The water suddenly broke into two, and an oval shaped object the size of a train carriage roared from the sea. People screamed and some dived as the huge cylinder crushed several cars and rolled to a stop. Similar was happening all down the waterfront.

    It was silences for a moment, except for the waves and distant thumping of the other cases. Suddenly the sides cracked and rolled open and human-like shapes burst free, charging over the crowd.

    Horrific screams filled the streets of New York.

    This is definately not my best work, but I hope it will suffice until the next chapter.
    [center:37vlglb9]My Art[/center:37vlglb9]
    [center:37vlglb9]My Story[/center:37vlglb9]

  2. #2
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Re: Edited into story. No name as of yet.

    I liked it. Much better than alot of stuff on here.

    No responses happens here. I swear, people check this thread once a week, if even. It kind of sucks if you want feedback on a story, cuz by the time you get it, you;ve got new ideas.

    I check this thread every day, cuz I got 2 stories on here that I want rated lol. I'm like THE only one tho...=[

    Fail sigs available upon request.

  3. #3
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    your letterbox.

    Re: Edited into story. No name as of yet.

    Yeah, I noticed the slump but I guess creative writing isn't what most people come to this site for lol.

    Anyway, thanks for the comment.
    [center:37vlglb9]My Art[/center:37vlglb9]
    [center:37vlglb9]My Story[/center:37vlglb9]

  4. #4
    Veteran Enthusiast Slashed's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Portsmouth, UK.

    Re: No name as of yet. Chapter 3 up.

    Jack Blackburn?


    Lol, that guy went to my school >.>

  5. #5
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Re: Black and White (Working title) - Chapter 4's up

    Haha, creepy. Just if everyones wondering he looks nothing like him (in the story I mean).

    Chapter 4's up. Comments pweease.
    [center:37vlglb9]My Art[/center:37vlglb9]
    [center:37vlglb9]My Story[/center:37vlglb9]


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