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  1. #1
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    Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    This is what happens when I read a book profiling a lot of serial killers. :P
    Excuse my horrible grammar, as I'm just a stupid 14 year old who loves telling
    stories :P


    "That bitch," he thought. Jason usually wouldn't freak out to such an event. But he felt
    different today, almost, demonic. He was just mad at the human race, nothing had gone
    right for him for the past few weeks. His dad was killed in a drive by, just an innocent
    bystander. His pregnant girlfriend was convinced to have an abortion, by his best friend
    who was now sleeping with her. That child was the only thing he had to look forward
    to in his life. Nothing else had mattered, he had even gotten a job. And now, his mom
    was complaining about how she wished she had that abortion. Or how she should have
    never given up school. Jason was usually calm, he didn't hate his mother for saying such
    awful things about him. He was usually full of life and loved it. Now, he hated the human
    race. His best friend, who was now his ex-best friend. Was black, and for that. shaved
    a nazi symbol into the side of his head. He went to school, and was ultimately beat
    up for being a white supremacist.





    He snapped, he grabbed his knife and lunged at his once loving and gentle mother,
    now, his victim. Before she could even re-act or say anything, the knife was in her
    throat and pouring blood. Jason savored the moment, and knowing that he wanted
    her to feel horrible before she died, he did the only thing he could.
    "Should have had that abortion," he sneered. Mocking her before her death.
    It was a rush Jason never felt before. He felt great, but reality soon settled in.
    He knew the police would know it was him, with their CSI crap. He watched that
    show enough to know that they almost ALWAYS catch the bad guy. So he hid the
    body, but he wanted it never to be found. So he grabbed a machete and started
    chopping. He cut her into little peaces. He stuffed her in a bag and tied it shut.
    Jason was always great with electronics. So he popped the screen out of the TV, and
    took out most of the wiring. And stuck the bag in. He put the screen back in and sat
    down in his kitchen.



    That's all I have for now, I'll finish later

  2. #2
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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    That's just horrible..and sick. I..I love it!

    Write more now.

  3. #3
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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Phoenix
    That's just horrible..and sick. I..I love it!

    Write more now.

    Tomorrow?

    And also, *jumping high five*

  4. #4
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    Pretty sick.

    Just one thing though, it doesn't flo very well. I see what you're trying to do, but you need to make it a bit clearer. Its a good story though. I can't wait to read more.

    Flash
    Fail sigs available upon request.

  5. #5
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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    Quote Originally Posted by benjammin1391
    Pretty sick.

    Just one thing though, it doesn't flo very well. I see what you're trying to do, but you need to make it a bit clearer. Its a good story though. I can't wait to read more.

    Yeah, I'm trying to get that flow. But I can't seem to grasp it

    Updating now.

  6. #6
    Sporadic Poster Benj's Avatar

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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chip'
    Quote Originally Posted by benjammin1391
    Pretty sick.

    Just one thing though, it doesn't flo very well. I see what you're trying to do, but you need to make it a bit clearer. Its a good story though. I can't wait to read more.

    Yeah, I'm trying to get that flow. But I can't seem to grasp it

    Updating now.
    I know exactly how you feel. I was writing a story, and I abandoned it because I lost the flow, and got bored writing.

    I think a good idea (If you're REALLY losing it) is to scrap it, keep only the main ideas, and start over.

    Now, I don't think yours is nearly bad enough for that, all it needs is a little spit and polish. One good word to know is detail. The more details in a story, the better, unless you go overboard, but that's hard to do.

    So just sneak in a few more tiny things, and you'll have a five star story.

    Flash
    Fail sigs available upon request.

  7. #7
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    Re: Life of Jason Norowitz (Horror)

    Quote Originally Posted by benjammin1391
    Quote Originally Posted by Chip'
    Quote Originally Posted by benjammin1391
    Pretty sick.

    Just one thing though, it doesn't flo very well. I see what you're trying to do, but you need to make it a bit clearer. Its a good story though. I can't wait to read more.

    Yeah, I'm trying to get that flow. But I can't seem to grasp it

    Updating now.
    I know exactly how you feel. I was writing a story, and I abandoned it because I lost the flow, and got bored writing.

    I think a good idea (If you're REALLY losing it) is to scrap it, keep only the main ideas, and start over.

    Now, I don't think yours is nearly bad enough for that, all it needs is a little spit and polish. One good word to know is detail. The more details in a story, the better, unless you go overboard, but that's hard to do.

    So just sneak in a few more tiny things, and you'll have a five star story.
    /homo hug



    I'm trying to update, but my parents hate me going on DD. So almost everytime I
    start to write they come in ):

    So..... *trys to update*


 

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