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  1. #1
    Enthusiast OblivionFall's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    The Furnace of War

    This is entirely inspired by In Dread Response and their lyrics, thought it was written by me. This is my peice for the creative writing section of my English Class, I wan't some feedback that isnt from my teacher because all she cares about is how much change occurs, not how well written it is. I personally don't think it is that great, but post your opinions.

    [center:qw3m3kn9]The Furnace of War

    Silence… The sun sets behind the cold concrete city, long dark shadows fall across the victims. Cracked marks across their protruding bones, dripping crimson. I see the destruction they left behind them. I caught sight of my reflection in a gutter filled with oil, dilated eyes and pallid flesh. I looked up, as he came to me, staggering over the empty streets for help, “She’s going to die!” he shouted. I ignored this, and turned to the wall.

    In the quiet caverns of deep thought, memories hide behind dark walls. You see the children sitting on the sofa, oblivious to the suffering that would soon consume them all. I opened my eyes. Nothing had changed, they will still dead. Nothing would change, nothing could change. It was over; all that remained was the smell of human refuse in the howling wind. On the fading horizon, they sail over skeletal seas, heading towards us. Past twilight, I see the transformation. They return to finish the destruction, to complete the death.

    Thunder! Beneath the cold moon, we hear the cannons. Violent explosions in dark serenity, burning flesh. They ride on black wind, splitting the earth with jagged bolts of light, landing only to drink from the skull of innocence. Jagged limbed beasts with crude weapons fill the dark streets, firing at anything and everything to spread the taint. I must escape. Rubble and smoke swirl around me, walls flash past, through dark alleyways where mechanical wolves, LCD predators wait to pounce. An unlocked door beckons me. Enter.

    I sail over the stairs, as the ceiling descends. Bursting into night, I see them flying through the city, firing fatal rounds into the buildings. The edge comes closer. I peer down; embers shimmer through the infernal chasm. Behind me, the blinding of false light escapes as fragments of brick and plaster are blown through the space. They rise from the splintered cavity, creeping closer with firelight reflecting of their scythes and maces, rising for the fatal blow. My foot moves across to meet nothing. I descend. Cracked obsidian rises to meet me, the jaws of death open to swallow me. There’s nothing Left.[/center:qw3m3kn9]

    - Christian Flannagan

  2. #2
    Junior Member martykillerman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Re: The Furnace of War

    wow cool text hire good job and I think this took some time
    martykillerman was hire


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