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  1. #1
    Enthusiast Slubberdegullion's Avatar

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    Homo Erectus' New Poetry Thread!

    [center:2tmjc84t]Hello, welcome to my new perminent poetry thread. I hope you enjoy what I write, if you notice any problems or have suggestions on how to improve, please feel free to write up a comment! Thanks.[/center:2tmjc84t]





    This is my first poem in a while...

    Russia burns while Pakistan drowns,
    Petermann glacier breaks apart and BP poisons the oceans heart,
    When will you realize it is time to act,
    With this mindless indulgence and ignorant life,
    The Earth loses what's precious, as if slain by the knife,
    Watch as it bleeds out, if only someone would listen,
    These wounds can still be mended, that should be our mission
    Slubberdegullion = Pivotelite.

  2. #2
    Enthusiast OblivionFall's Avatar

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    Re: Homo Erectus' New Poetry Thread!

    Fuck man, I didnt know you could write (write well, I mean . That was good, not as good as the Poem I just finished reading, but still good. Not much to improve on, except that sometimes I wasn't sure whethere you had changed topic or not (By change topic, I mean going from War to Pollution (Or whatever it was you were talking about))

    4/5 From me!

  3. #3
    Enthusiast Slubberdegullion's Avatar

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    Re: Homo Erectus' New Poetry Thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vypeira
    Fuck man, I didnt know you could write (write well, I mean . That was good, not as good as the Poem I just finished reading, but still good. Not much to improve on, except that sometimes I wasn't sure whethere you had changed topic or not (By change topic, I mean going from War to Pollution (Or whatever it was you were talking about))

    4/5 From me!

    No, it is just one topic, nothing to do with war in this poem. Russia burns is because their is an insane heatwave sweeping through their causing forest fires, the whole city is like been engulfed in smoke for a while. Pakistan has had record rainfall causing flood which killed over 1500 people and more rain is to come. Petermann is a giant glacier on greenland that has started to crack and break apart. Lastly... everyone knows about the BP oil spill, no need to elaborate.

    Thanks for the review ! =]
    Slubberdegullion = Pivotelite.


 

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