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  1. #1
    Veteran Enthusiast Slashed's Avatar



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    Portsmouth, UK.
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    Whore Of Modern Emotion

    I care but wait with bated breath
    For the day you feel true pain
    This sobbing, dirty face
    Smothered
    Thick mascara swiped
    He wasnít the right one
    Again...

    Attention whoring lies
    He left you for something sane
    But somehow
    Itís all his fault
    How could you ever be at fault?
    He wasnít the right one
    Again...

    Blurting out
    Your cries in vain
    How could anyone love you
    Why would anyone try
    And they always tell you
    He wasnít the right one
    Again...

    Itís been a week
    You have so much to gain
    He tries to make you so happy
    Why are you always sad?
    It must be his fault
    This weekís boy has gone
    Try again...

  2. #2
    Devoted Veteran
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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    Absolutely wonderful. I really wish you would write more; I love your work.


  3. #3
    Enthusiast shell's Avatar

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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    I don't really like the topic as it is very hard to pull off without sounding cheesy IMO, but you did a pretty good job on it.
    my thread. / Lovely Art <3 / DD ranks

    You can pm me for a comment on your thread.
    I'm always up for a good joint.

  4. #4
    Enthusiast Snuggles's Avatar

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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    Bloody brilliant, I generally wouldn't like a topic or poem structure like this but I really loved it. Great job, I've been always been a fan of your work man, keep it up.
    (Y)
    [center:2ko3y71e][/center:2ko3y71e]

  5. #5
    Veteran Enthusiast Slashed's Avatar



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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    Quote Originally Posted by Shell
    I don't really like the topic as it is very hard to pull off without sounding cheesy IMO, but you did a pretty good job on it.
    I get what you mean and I think I just about managed that, that said I don't intend to write a poem like this again. Not really my thing.lol

    @Lionheart; Snuggles: Thanks guys I understand it's a bit disorganised, but there is a base rhythmic structure which I suppose is a bit too loose.

    Thanks anyway

  6. #6
    Veteran Enthusiast DAMON's Avatar


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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    The thick mascara was stolen? Oh no!

  7. #7
    Fanatic Enthusiast Xenomorph's Avatar


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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    On a side note- This thread has been added to the Master Literature List under the Poetry category. I'm working on actually updating the list, and this was one deserving of praise. It's quite well done; sorry I never mentioned it before, Slashed. Thanks, Damon, for bumping it up here.
    SA$_/AI%20has log[d in.
    > S&ys|BT
    > P_s word?
    > OMEGA
    >> A^e_%20_u su!e? (Y/N)
    > Y
    >> S##t m_ Rebooting. Hello, Samuel.

  8. #8
    Veteran Enthusiast Slashed's Avatar



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    Re: Whore Of Modern Emotion

    Oh, thanks ^_^


 

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