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  1. #1
    Veteran Enthusiast Krustalien's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    I felt like writing something...

    Chapter 1.

    Walking back from the place that had now become just a blur of images floating in the back of his mind, he thought about school. What normal school was like for normal kids, where bullies weren't smart and play time consisted in playing tag with your group of stupid friends. Where the teachers were just as mentally retarded as their pupils.

    Where everything was great.

    It had been nearly his birthday when the then thirteen year old, small bodied petit little boy from just another boring town built around a huge coal power plant, decided enough bullshit was enough. He got home, told his parents, who in their ignorance were lovely caring people, that he had another great day at the "School for Talented Young Minds", reciting the same explanation of his experience he used last week.

    After waiting for the right time that night, just another godforsaken day to give in, the boy left, thinking he'd be back before too long.

    Little did he know, fate, I guess you could say, had other plans.

    Chapter 2.

    He dropped his bag and ran for his life, quite literally. He reached a large tree and clambered up into the twisted branches, scratching his whole body in the process, to get away from this horrifying monster of a... a thing.

    He knew he had gone wrong, he knew that weeks ago, what he didn't know was that he'd be dreading accepting going the wrong way so deeply such a short amount of time later. He thought he'd be able to catch another... another tunnel thing back to where he started, in that deserted village that felt eerily like his old home town. Climbing higher and higher he deemed himself safe from this creature. He presumed it was some sort of guardian, a protector of the man he had seen in his confused dreams. By this point he knew he might be safe from it's foot-long claws but he'd have to come down soon, his bag was all he had left to keep him from accepting he'd gone totally insane.

    He heard a sob. A terrifying, splitting cry that tore at his insides. He thought he knew who the tortured voice belonged to, it sounded like his closest friend. He had heard it before, it was the voice of the person who who had planted this madness into his thoughts. But he had no time to think about friends, nor anything from his old world.

    Right now he was being attacked by a huge slimy lizard-like creature, who was bashing at the tree trying to get what it's simple mind saw as dinner to fall into it's open jaws. But the little boy from no where was cunning. He knew in his back pack, now about 30 feet from the monsters long curly toes, he had meat from the smallest thing he could find that was least likely to try and eat him in this death promoting land, a rabbit like animal, with scales as against to fur. It would be a sure suicide act to let something else take it, but it was the only thing he could think of that would allow him to bring this particularly mental scenario to an end. He found the largest dead piece of wood (thankfully trees existed here like they did back in his other world) still clinging onto a branch, and hurled it in the direction of his pack.

    His plan worked, the huge but luckily gullible eel-lizard ran at the stick, which landed feet from the small green backpack, which lay in the stony field in which the boy now found himself, on the outskirts of the empty village. It caught a whiff of decaying meat from the boys rabbit-fish filled bag, and went for it.

    With surprising precision the beast got the lump of life saving animal from his rucksack, and disappeared with terrifying but brilliant speed, into the opposite direction from the boy, making him think how the hell he managed to out run the thing.

    He climbed out of the tree and picked up the slimy, 3 kilo lighter piece of material he brought with him from his old home, and started for the forest he had made his goal over the past few days. Crying lonely bursts of laughter to himself, to shake off the increasing desperateness building up inside him.


    No idea why I did that. I felt like writing, so sorry for putting you through my twisted thoughts lols. I know it doesn't make any sense, there is no plot to speak of and he manages to be chased and defeat an amazing creature which I say so little about, other than it being deadly, in a really small amount of time.

    So yeah, just felt like it.
    Bye. :3

  2. #2
    Fanatic Enthusiast Luke's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Auckland, New Zealand

    Re: I felt like writing something...

    Seemed really good. Although the chapters seem too short to be two separate chapters, they seem like they still delve on the introduction of it all. The problem is, you haven't really described the tree much, or anything. It was still really well written and I enjoyed reading it, but I feel a little confused as to what is entirely happening. For starters I don't know this kids name, I don't know the name of the school or what the school looks like, nor do I know what his house, or any aspect of his house looks like. The story seemed to be very well written though, but it seems like you haven't described much of what is happening, instead describing the story like we were there first hand.

    I hope you continue writing it. It seems really good.
    R.I.P Grace - 18 November 1997 - 14 March 2011

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