Now on to the point.

I started this yesterday and finished it this morning. I hate Dora the Explorer and it appears most other people do -- see here for an example -- so I whipped this up. I can honestly say that this will be one of the funniest things you have ever read and will ever read. There's tons of jokes along with a few gags such as the pony gag.

I urge people who like their little Spanish friend not to read this as it makes fun of Dora and Boots. I also rate this 10+ for frequent mild language and gory violence. I'm sure all of you guys are beyond these so you can just ignore this.

Anyway, enough ranting, here it is!(Note that my real name is NOT William Leonard.)



(Dora is in the forest searching for Boots)

Dora: Hola everybody! Can you see my friend Boots?

Off-screen kids: We don't know you idiot! Look for him yourself!

(Dora searches for Boots without asking the kids, but to no avail.)

Dora: Hmmmm. I cannot find Boots. Ah! I'll check the map. Oh Maaaaap!!!

Boots: Here I am!

Dora: AAAAAAAAUUGH!!!! You scared the knickers off me stupid!

Boots: Sorry. What adventure will we go on today?

Dora: I don't want to go on an adventure.

Boots: WHAAAAAT???!! But you love adventures!

Dora(screaming): NO I DON'T YOU IGNORANT CHIMP! I don't want to do it and that's final.

Boots: Fine then. I'll go on an adventure.

Dora: No you won't.

Boots: Oh yeah? (sticks out bottom lip) Sez hoo??

Dora: If I can't have an adventure, neither can you.

Boots: What? That is totally unfair.

Dora: I don't care. I hate all of you.

Boots: Hmmm. Well, if you won't let me have an adventure, I'll tell Swiper to go steal your stuff.

Dora: I'll just hide my stuff. You really think it's that easy???

Boots: I hate you Dora.

Dora: I hate you more.

Boots: I hate you even more than Mario hates Bowser.

Dora: I hate you even more than I hate going on adventures.

Boots: I hate you even more than what you just said.

Dora: I DON'T CARE!!!

Boots: ME NEITHER!!!!!




(Dora and Boots walk away.)

Boots(thinking): Stupid Dora. I'll sneak off and go on an adventure when she goes out of sight. That'll show her, the insolent ignoramus.

(Dora goes out of sight. Boots blasts off into space like a rocket. He realizes there is no air and dies. Some hideous magical pony from Happyland puts a spacesuit on him and he revives.)

Boots: Huh? (sees the pony) SKIDADDLE YOU STUPID HORSE!!!! (pony explodes in a shower of blood. Bits of blood splats on Boots' helmet. Boots licks the blood and smiles.) Mmmmmm. Now on to the adventure.

(Boots zooms off. He reaches a planet that is full with pigs.)

Boots: Ah! Pig Planet. The smelliest place in the universe. (puts on gas mask and zooms to Pig Planet)

Pig: Welcome, o mighty traveller! Where is your master, Dora?

Boots: You don't want to know.

Pig: OK. Well let's go down to the problem. You know that Pig Planet is the smelliest place in the universe?(Boots nods.) Well it isn't!(Boots gasps.) I know. Some wiseguy is soaking up all the stink!

Boots: That's terrible!

Pig: I know.

Boots: Well fear not. I shall sort out the problem.

Pig: Oh thank you! Thank you!(bends down to kiss Boots' boots)

Boots: Don't even think about it.(The pig stands up again.)

Pig: Oh. Okay. Well don't waste time! We need to stop him!

Boots: Point taken. ( races off screen and the adventure starts.)

(Meanwhile, Dora is back at the forest sitting on the ground, grumbling.)

Dora: Hmph. Well I guess adventures are sorta fun.... And there's no whiny Boots. Hmm. Oh, alright then. I'll have an adventure.

Offscreen Kids: YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!--

Dora: ONLY IF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!! (kids shut the hell up) Right then. Now on to the adventure. Meh heh heh.(Dora's face twists into an evil expression)

(Back at Pig Planet, Boots is searching for Wiseguy.)

Boots: Oh Wiseguy... Wisey-wisey-wisey-wiseguy... Pshwshwshwshwshwshwsh... Hmm. I cannot find Wiseguy. I know! I'll ask the Map. Oh Maaaaap!! (realizes that Map is still with Dora) Oh. Hmm. Well then I'll just think.

(Boots starts thinking. His brain explodes from all the thinking after one second.)

Boots: Aw crud.

(Meanwhile, Dora wonders what adventure she is going to have.)

Dora: I wonder what adventure I am going to have? (snaps fingers.) I've got it! (Her fingers turn into small cats and run away.) Dammit. Anyway. I've got it! I'll go to Pig Planet to think. All that stink will give me some power.

(Dora blasts off into space like a rocket. She realizes there is no air and dies. Some hideous magical pony from Happyland puts a spacesuit on her and she revives.)

Dora: Huh? (sees the pony) AAAAAHHH!

Magical Pony: AAAAAHHH! (explodes in a shower of blood. Dora licks the blood off her helmet and smiles)

Dora: Mmmmmm. Now on to the adventure.

(Meanwhile, Boots is trying to repair his exploded brain. He finds a piece. It explodes in a shower of brain stuff. Boots licks the brain stuff and smiles.)

Boots: Mmmmmm. Now on to the adventure.(Boots searches some more.) Wait, If I don't have a brain that means---(Boots dies. Some hideous magical pony from Happyland finds an extra brain and puts it on him. He revives.)

Boots: Huh? (sees the pony. The magical pony instantly curls up into a ball.)

Magical Pony: Ummmm... I'm a rock.

Boots: Oh. Okay then.

(Boots walks away. The pony sighs in relief. It goes back to Happyland when It realizes there are no ponies there.)

Magical Pony: Huh?

(Now on to the adventure. Dora goes off to Pig Planet and meets a pig.)

Pig: Oh there you are Dora! I am afraid you're too late!

Dora: Huh? Late for what?

Pig: You sidekick Boots is searching for Wiseguy already!

Dora: What??!! Boots is here??

Pig: Of course he is, you idiot. I already said that.

Dora: Shut up. Now this is an adventure! (zooms off to find Boots)

(Meanwhile, Boots is sitting on a rock. It turns out to be a magical pony in hiding and he shoos it off.)

Boots: I hate adventures. Dora has got it easy. She has Map with her and stuff. Sigh.(sits on the ground)

(Meanwhile, Dora is lost in the Stinky Forest.)

Dora: Hmmm. I cannot find my way out of here. I know! I'll ask the Map. Oh Maaaaap! (Realises that Map is dying.) Map! Gasp! What is happening to you??

Map(in wheezy voice): Too much...stink.... Can't...take it! Gaaaasp!'m the map... I'm the map... I'm the--(Map dies.)

Dora: Well dammit then. I know! I'll ask the Map! (realises that Map is dead) Oh. Okay. I'll just think.

(Dora starts thinking. However all she can think about is cute boys, skirts and whatnot. When she tries to think harder, her brain explodes and she dies. Some hideous magical pony from Happyland finds her but then realises what will happen to it and it runs away.)

Dora: Uggggh. (Brain suddenly comes up with an idea and drops back in her head.) Aha! I have an idea! I'll ask the Map! (realises once more that Map is dead) Oh. Hmmm.

(Meanwhile, Boots decides to search in the Stinky Forest. Suddenly he sees Dora and gasps. Dora sees Boots and gasps.)

Boots: YOU!

Dora: YOU!

Boots: Well what a surprise. I knew you wouldn't resist chasing after me!

Dora: I wasn't chasing after you! I wanted to stay away from you! You always whine and complain! I AM SICK OF IT! SICK OF IT I TELL YOU! So I tricked you and when you walked away, I sneaked off to have an adventure of my own! I even tricked the writers! They thought i wouldn't have one! How's THAT for an evil mastermind??

Boots: Shut up.(picks up a revolver and shoots Dora in the never-you-minds. She dies.)

Boots: Meh heh heh. (suddenly sees a pony in the distance) Hey you! Shoo!

Magical Pony: NO!

Boots: Huh?

Magical Pony: I shall not suck up to you inferior slime balls! I am Wiseguy, King of Happyland!

Boots: Gasp! It's you who has been soaking up all the stink! But why?

Wiseguy: I am sick and tired of my good and just subjects exploding in a shower of blood! It is not right! So I drew you here with my stink-soaking machine! And now you shall die here, puny mortal!

Boots: Oh no I won't. (shoots Wiseguy but the bullet pings off him harmlessly)

Wiseguy: Ha ha. I have a shield that absorbs all normal impacts! You can't stop me!

Boots: Oh really? (absorbs stink and gets magical powers. He summons up super strength and punches Wiseguy.)

Wiseguy: Ow! Okay. I give up. You win.

Boots: Yay! I win! Come on everybody! We did it, We did it, we did it, Yeah! Lo hicimos--

Offscreen Kids: Ouch! Our ears! Shut up!

Boots: Sorry. (winks)

(screen fades to black)


Comment please!!!!!!!! I spent a fair bit of time on this compared to my other stuff!