Hello and welcome to our community! Is this your first visit?
Register
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Questions

  1. #1
    Fanatic Enthusiast Luke's Avatar


    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Posts
    3,706

    Questions

    Here is a portion of a song that I am writing. "Questions" is not the name of the song, well it might be, for now it is just a placeholder. For lack of a better word this is a homage to Hollywood Undead.

    In a world amidst insanity
    Does it mean it has to end?
    In a world full of vanity
    Doesn't mean we must defend
    Cos it's not our mentality

    Now I see the Red Sea
    Split right in front of me
    Is this my final destiny?
    Am I not completely free?

    I look up is this really what you want?
    Am I free or am I not?
    Do I not fit into your plot?
    Fuck that, you're not all that I got

    You are nothing
    You are trash
    I never liked you
    So just burn and crash


    The above italics are a screamed section and were added by my friend.
    R.I.P Grace - 18 November 1997 - 14 March 2011

    |PM Me |My Thread |Request a Move Up |Report a Rulebreaker |The Rules |

  2. #2
    Veteran Enthusiast Kellawgs's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    6,141

    Re: Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke
    So just burn and crash
    That should be crash and then burn.

    Aside from that, sounds like you're doing a fine job dude. I don't really enjoy like, any type of music, but I'm sure you have potential to write some good shit, so good luck man.

  3. #3
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385

    Re: Questions

    I think he made it burn and crash to rhyme with trash.

  4. #4
    Liberty Phish DaniŽl's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    5,507

    Re: Questions

    That's a pretty good poem, I liked it quite a bit. Though it has a bit of inconsistent lyrics and your friend hasn't really improved the poem per se.
    Also, in this part, I think it's kinda contradicting as I'd say a splitting sea would rather give you even more freedom, though the lyric 'Am I not complete free?' would make you think otherwise. Just my two cents though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke
    Now I see the Red Sea
    Split right in front of me
    Is this my final destiny?
    Am I not completely free?

  5. #5
    Fanatic Enthusiast Luke's Avatar


    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Posts
    3,706

    Re: Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by DaniŽl
    That's a pretty good poem, I liked it quite a bit. Though it has a bit of inconsistent lyrics and your friend hasn't really improved the poem per se.
    Also, in this part, I think it's kinda contradicting as I'd say a splitting sea would rather give you even more freedom, though the lyric 'Am I not complete free?' would make you think otherwise. Just my two cents though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke
    Now I see the Red Sea
    Split right in front of me
    Is this my final destiny?
    Am I not completely free?
    My intention of this was like Moses almost as if he is a slave to God and has no freedom. While he is free to do what he wants there would be repercussions for defying God. It's like somebody wants you to do something and they ask as though you have a choice, but in reality the consequences are great to the extent where you do not have much of choice.
    R.I.P Grace - 18 November 1997 - 14 March 2011

    |PM Me |My Thread |Request a Move Up |Report a Rulebreaker |The Rules |


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •