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  1. #1
    Dedicated Member TheRavenHouse's Avatar

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    You: Poems from a Sociopath

    _
    'You

    [spoiler:zzklv6lw]
    I want to tell you I love you Though I don't know where you are
    Which leaves me not knowing what I should do
    You're beauty is in your pain like a dying star
    And your gravity is pulling me towards you

    You're pale, raw, cold, and wrinkled in your skin
    Because the world raped you and left you naked in the snow
    But you were strong and refused to give in
    And I found you, bare, by the side of road

    You deserve someone so much better than me
    Because I slept with death and shook hands with the devil
    This is, at least from my point of view not hard to see
    But at your side is the only place I long to revel

    Without you I'd still do what I do till the day I die
    Cause that's all I know how to do despite being filled with sorrow
    But that's not exactly the truth, and I can't tell a Lie
    Since the day that I'd die would probably be tomorrow
    [/spoiler:zzklv6lw]

    _
    'Brigade
    [spoiler:zzklv6lw]I feel like destiny is to lead an army into defeat
    Though I hold my beliefs close and true to my heart
    As we soldiers die I'll neglect a call for retreat
    Because my thoughts are evil and should be torn apart|

    |I've been witness to the light and the black
    And I'd rather be blind than burned
    But I can feel every virtue I lack
    And see every hero I've turned|

    |I'm a hateful devil but I keep a kindly vigil
    Because despite my sociopathic ways and actions
    I've fallen for an illusive shattering angel
    So I may have to break from my abyssal factions|

    |In her I see pain as a result of love and destruction
    The same pain that I dealt and the same love I wanted
    I hope to exchange the pain in favor of affection
    Though all but my hate feels irrevocably stunted

    [/spoiler:zzklv6lw]

    ___
    Quote Originally Posted by Slashed
    tl;dr: The forum is dying, so is pivot

  2. #2
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    Re: A Poem from a Sociopath

    I'm very surprised with this. It is really beautiful. But I am a sucker for dark and depressive writing, it's actually what I love to write myself.

    I love the conflicting emotion you show here, how he understands his evil, and why he has to be evil, but the hatred within himself as he realises his evil actions are going against his normal good fiber and slowly turning him into a pure evil form.

    I think secretly everyone loves to hear stories of people who have internal conflicts, perhaps to make themselves feel better about their own problems.

    Nevertheless, great poetry, post more please.

  3. #3
    Dedicated Member TheRavenHouse's Avatar

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    Re: A Poem from a Sociopath

    Quote Originally Posted by Jon.
    I'm very surprised with this. It is really beautiful. But I am a sucker for dark and depressive writing, it's actually what I love to write myself.

    I love the conflicting emotion you show here, how he understands his evil, and why he has to be evil, but the hatred within himself as he realises his evil actions are going against his normal good fiber and slowly turning him into a pure evil form.

    I think secretly everyone loves to hear stories of people who have internal conflicts, perhaps to make themselves feel better about their own problems.

    Nevertheless, great poetry, post more please.
    Thank you for the strong praise, I didn't expect it to be liked especially since I didn't even edit it.
    There's a good chance I will be writing more, because as you can probably tell my emotions are a little fucked up right now, what with this sudden desire to be a good person.

    ___
    Quote Originally Posted by Slashed
    tl;dr: The forum is dying, so is pivot

  4. #4
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    Re: A Poem from a Sociopath

    hahaha man I write my best when I feel like shit or if I feel extremely good. Emotional writing is the best kind, putting yourself into the characters shoes is a great way to make yourself feel better and get better

  5. #5
    Dedicated Member TheRavenHouse's Avatar

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    Re: You: Poems from a Sociopath

    Update, with some more words and stuff.
    This one's about a girl, unlike every other poem in existence.

    ___
    Quote Originally Posted by Slashed
    tl;dr: The forum is dying, so is pivot

  6. #6
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    Re: You: Poems from a Sociopath

    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    _
    'You

    [spoiler]

    You're pale, raw, cold, and wrinkled in your skin
    Because the world raped you and left you naked in the snow


    This was beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed these two lines. Very visually enticing and stimulating. I found very poetic (funny that it being a poem), but lyrically it is very well written. It's one of those phrases that you read and you are stunned and shocked by how words can be formed into such beauty. Well done.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    But that's not exactly the truth, and I can't tell a Lie
    Since the day that I'd day would probably be tomorrow
    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    I'm guessing that's meant to be: "Since the day that I'd die would probably be tomorrow." ?

  7. #7
    Dedicated Member TheRavenHouse's Avatar

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    Re: You: Poems from a Sociopath

    Quote Originally Posted by Blot
    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    _
    'You

    [spoiler]

    You're pale, raw, cold, and wrinkled in your skin
    Because the world raped you and left you naked in the snow


    This was beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed these two lines. Very visually enticing and stimulating. I found very poetic (funny that it being a poem), but lyrically it is very well written. It's one of those phrases that you read and you are stunned and shocked by how words can be formed into such beauty. Well done.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    But that's not exactly the truth, and I can't tell a Lie
    Since the day that I'd day would probably be tomorrow
    Quote Originally Posted by TheRavenHouse
    I'm guessing that's meant to be: "Since the day that I'd die would probably be tomorrow." ?
    Hmm... Day that i'd day... yeah, probably.

    Thanks a lot, that was probably the only line I liked, it comes from thinking about how I would act if I were to find someone naked in the snow, I don't think about it often, but every few months I'll get stuck thinking about it for hours.

    ___
    Quote Originally Posted by Slashed
    tl;dr: The forum is dying, so is pivot


 

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