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  1. #11
    The Green Boss

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    4,602
    Jon you are doing GREAT work so far. I love your style of writing and really look forward to more.

  2. #12
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385
    Thanks Juke!

    Updated with Chapter 4!!

  3. #13
    The Green Boss

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    4,602
    Chapter 4 was very well written. I can't see anything that I woul change. If I were to say anything at all it would be to slow down some of the action in general, it seems that somethings happen slightly to quick and the feel isn't there. So maybe some more description of what the character is thinking and feeling in some situations would be good. I'm not saying you aren't because you are doing it perfectly when the zombies attack but you could have done it a little bit when the 2 people broke in to his house atbthe very end. Keep it up I really want to read more!

  4. #14
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385
    Cheers Juke!

    Anymore comments would be appreciated

  5. #15
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385
    Ok so I have been slowly plugging away at this. Decided I'd update you all with chapter 5, hope some people read it and leave some comments

  6. #16
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385
    Chapter 6 is up.


 
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