Hello and welcome to our community! Is this your first visit?
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
Like Tree7Likes

Thread: the boy in the back courtisy

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    the world of DBZ
    Posts
    54

    the boy in the back courtisy

    Sorry I was just being called stuoid so I took it down
    Last edited by blasife; 17 Mar 2014 at 05:52 AM.
    Axon, nębatterí and Jojishi like this.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Austria
    Posts
    3,243
    Finally! I waited ages for your new book and I am not disappointed with this excerpt.

    Now, where can I buy it?
    Gary and Mayfire like this.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Westeros
    Posts
    5,558
    Quote Originally Posted by blasife View Post
    • adutorium
    • the children where talking
    • amrican
    • litraly
    • He stud up slowly and cofadently
    • dident know it
    • he steped into the hall
    • scepticly
    • rejoysing

    (the grammar test)
    Gary and Marvilicious like this.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    the world of DBZ
    Posts
    54
    Thanks for the feedback and hey no need to be a jerk I am just trying to have fun and hey don't talk bad bout every one's stuff ya you can point out faults but also point out a good thing to I mean all you are doing is discouriging people
    Last edited by blasife; 05 Jan 2014 at 05:38 AM. Reason: more words

  5. #5
    Fanatic Enthusiast Axon's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3,614
    keep at it


  6. #6
    ℋope
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    4,996
    Quote Originally Posted by Axon View Post
    keep at it
    Yeah man blasife, keep doing your business. If you have fun, nothing else matters really. I liked it.

  7. #7
    Veteran Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    6,385
    Just try and edit your work. Go through and fix the spelling and grammar, I mean, Microsoft Word literally tells you when you've made a mistake.
    I'm going to be completely honest I read this: "300 children sat in a adutorium" and stopped reading.
    Sometimes you need people to be a dick to you in order for you to realise the mistakes you are making, and because I'm so #edgy, I'll be the one to say it.
    You really need to fix everything. Here's an idea: Read a book. Something like, Catcher in the Rye, or To Kill A Mockingbird, grasp the fundamentalist novel / novella conventions, and use them in your work.

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,295
    Quote Originally Posted by Stark View Post
    Something like, Catcher in the Rye, or To Kill A Mockingbird, grasp the fundamentalist novel / novella conventions, and use them in your work.
    I think he may need to read something easier than those books. They're good books as well, but they're so boring. I'm not saying that they're bad, but they take so long to pick up in pace. To Kill a Mockingbird takes 100 pages to finally get to the actual story. Sure, the meaning behind these books is great and I admire what they've done but books should be enjoyable to read as well. I think he'd have a hard time getting through these books. I'd recommend reading anything that takes your interest blasife and goes up to around 100 pages max. Nothing too demanding and something you can really enjoy reading.

    I don't mean to put your suggestion down Stark. I think you've offered some good advice. blasife would totally benefit from reading something just as long as it isn't demanding. Once he's read quite a few books then he can move onto the more advanced stuff.

    Just keep doing what you're doing blasife. You're writing and you might have a long way to go in terms of spelling, grammar and punctuation but... you're writing. And not many people write these days. So keep at it and keep having fun with it too.

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1,291
    I hate people who think you have to mention something good too when you criticize something, sounds so stupid to point how bad it is and then say it's not that bad.

    The spelling mistakes makes the story unreadable, in the sense that I can't take it seriously.

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,295
    Quote Originally Posted by MCToast View Post
    I hate people who think you have to mention something good too when you criticize something, sounds so stupid to point how bad it is and then say it's not that bad.
    If I just point out everything negative, and nothing of what the person did right, then they don't think they did anything well. It doesn't exactly motivate them to improve if they think everything they've done is bad. I know you think I'm saying it's bad but then saying it isn't bad. That does sound stupid, but it's not how I offer critique. I point out what worked and what didn't, which is different.


 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •