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  1. #1
    Fanatic Enthusiast

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    Aug 2007
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    3,096

    chuck norris everything!

    post videos lines whatever, but has to be about chuck norris!ill start!
    lines:
    Chuck norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper hasnt gained up the courage to tell him though.

    He once kicked a periodic table because the only element he knows is the element of suprise.

    When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and asks for a gun and a bucket.

    Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
    of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
    jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
    influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.


    A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.


    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
    unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
    finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
    soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
    admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
    second Wednesday of the month.

    When the boggyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity ... twice.

    Chuck Norris tears cure cancer, too bad he never cried

    Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "It's not me, It's you"

    Chuck Norris Lost his Virginity before his father

    Chuck Norris once round-house kicked the periodic table because he only knows the element of suprise.

    Chuck Norris isnt hung like a horse - Horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men.

    A quote from the man himself: "I put the laughter in manslaughter"

    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies a level of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made

    Hypothetical -- Chuck Norris has died and gone to heaven. He, Jesus and Ghandi are hoping to occupy the seat next to God. God asks all three why? Ghandi speaks of all the good that he has done. Jesus says, " I'm your son! ". Chuck Norris looks deep into God's eyes, raises his eyebrow, and says, "I believe you are sitting in my seat".

    Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

    Chuck Norris Has good idea of putting his urine in cans and sell it. We all knew what it is [RedBull]...

    Chuck Noris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out sloved

    Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

    have fun reading!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Hell.
    Posts
    393
    You used the Periodic Table one twice.... Not that that's a bad thing...

    Did you know that if you knock on wood three times and say 'Chuck Norris' with a lisp, he will personally come up and roundhouse kick you in the face.

    Gary Coleman used to be 7 foot 2 inches... Until he met Chuck Norris...

    Chuck Norris once shot down a Russian MIG by pointing his finger at it and saying 'Bang.'

    Literally translated from the ancient tongue of Atlantis the name Chuck Norris means "Little sissy". Sadly, Atlantis is no more.

    Chuck Norris beat the computer from War Games in tic-tac-toe in two moves.

    If you can think of a swear word, chances are Chuck Norris invented it while having relations with your mother.

    Chuck Norris brings knives to gun fights. He doesn't use them, he just likes the irony.

    Chuck Norris invented wormholes for the sole purpose of roundhouse kicking Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler at the same time.

    The video game Katamari Damacy was inspired by Chuck Norris' tendency to roll Japanese families into balls and hurl them into space.

    The answer to the border control problem is easily solved. All we need to do is put up a billboard of Chuck Norris that reads, "I live here. Do you still want to enter?" Too bad that the damn liberals are calling it inhumane.

    Chuck Norris does not have a reflection in the mirror. It hides.

    And, that's all I have now...
    None.

  3. #3
    Enthusiast
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,075
    heres one i made up ( may be more added later )

    Chuck norris doesnt need steroids steroids need chuck norris
    credz to: TSU, Jon, frozen fire and sir wojak (PM me if i use your stks
    <3 List
    Tsuchinoko
    flamingwolf

  4. #4
    Fanatic Enthusiast Gray's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Merry Ol' England
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    4,919
    Ergh, Chuck Norris Jokes aren't funny anymore.
    [center:1galr654][/center:1galr654]
    [center:1galr654]SOCIALLY AWKWARD ALAN[/center:1galr654]

  5. #5
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    At Home, My Room, With cookies.
    Posts
    231
    Quote From The Man Himself:
    "I'm Chuck Norris"

    So fucking obvious isn't it?

  6. #6
    Enthusiast


    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1,653
    Chuck Norris is so old...


    That this shit stopped being funny a year ago. Moved to Spam Pit, as it's just copying and pasting.

    Want a sig like the one above? I am taking requests in my thread here...

  7. #7
    Enthusiast Finn's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Christmas Island
    Posts
    2,258
    1-Chuck Norris doesn't have a remote he justs looks at the channel switch button

    2-Three main reasons of death in America:
    1. Cancer
    2. Chuck Norris
    3. Heart disease

    3- The is no global warming Chuck Norris got cold and moved the sun

    4- Some peoples hero is Jackie Chan but Jackie Chan's hero is Chuck Norris

    5- Jeffery Star dresses up like a girl so Chuck Norris notices him

    6- Chuck Norris rocks so much he posts on DarkDemon

    Lol number 6
    [center:1qe2mlqj][/center:1qe2mlqj]
    [center:1qe2mlqj]Steam - ImplodingSmore[/center:1qe2mlqj]


 

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