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Thread: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

  1. #1
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    Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    I've put this in greentext format so that it is sufficiently entertaining. This was 3 years ago. I think we can all have a laugh at my horrible misfortune.

    >at party
    >had like 1 drink. pretty heavy
    >7/10 became 8/10
    >hit on her
    >shes had less than me
    >acting like shes drunk
    >i leave her alone a bit
    >she gets legit drunk by the time i come back
    >were there on the couch
    >im like "ur done u needa go to bed"
    >start pulling her towards a room
    >her little 13 year old brother is at this party
    >hes a little shit who hates all of the older kids there
    >hes in that room
    >i duck with her into the bathroom
    >she starts undressing me
    >i do the same
    >turn to lock the door, no lock.
    >big mistake
    >get in shower with her, pull curtain
    >dont turn water on because not naked
    >big mistake 2
    >i fingered her a bit, but we pretty much go straight to it
    >no condom. w/e ill pull out
    >hahaha i wish
    >her brother apparently had a stomach ache
    >we're midway through it and this fat fuck walks in
    >we stop dead, breathing heavily
    >he proceeds to sit down on the toilet right next to the shower
    >and take the biggest, nastiest, chunkiest diaherrea in the history of mankind
    >girl is mortified embarassed
    >i go soft
    >brother leaves, it smells terrible, put pants on, exit bathroom
    >walk home from party crying.

  2. #2
    Veteran Enthusiast Kellawgs's Avatar

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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    ill never have a first time

  3. #3
    lucien is queen Hazzystan's Avatar

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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    The first time I had sex ended with my girlfriend asking me if I was gay.
    what is homo love?

  4. #4
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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    ill never have a first time
    i like to pretend i didn't so dont feel bad lol
    the subsequent times are better

    The first time I had sex ended with my girlfriend asking me if I was gay.
    nice :P

  5. #5
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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    hahaahahah that's hilarious. My first time was on top of a bunk bed.

  6. #6
    he llo Mitchell's Avatar

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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellawgs
    ill never have a first time
    Oh?
    .
    Moonlight Road: 210/600
    .

  7. #7
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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    Well. This was interesting.

  8. #8
    Regular Member Mrs. Lionheart's Avatar
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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    my first time was the worst 5 minutes ever. The guy was 19 and I was 15. I was drunk and depressed and he was so grossly hairy I thought he still had boxers on....I was wrong. I was just like "damn that's it?" *sigh* I just like to pretend it didn't happen
    [center:c2uhva1r][/center:c2uhva1r]

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  9. #9
    he llo Mitchell's Avatar

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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Lionheart
    my first time was the worst 5 minutes ever. The guy was 19 and I was 15. I was drunk and depressed and he was so grossly hairy I thought he still had boxers on....I was wrong. I was just like "damn that's it?" *sigh* I just like to pretend it didn't happen
    Fuck, Dustin you dirty cunt.
    .
    Moonlight Road: 210/600
    .

  10. #10
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    Re: Laugh at Me: the terrible tale of my first time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper
    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Lionheart
    my first time was the worst 5 minutes ever. The guy was 19 and I was 15. I was drunk and depressed and he was so grossly hairy I thought he still had boxers on....I was wrong. I was just like "damn that's it?" *sigh* I just like to pretend it didn't happen
    Fuck, Dustin you dirty cunt.
    your signature is really cool


    my first time was terribl e so hairy *sigh* never happen grossle hairy : > (


 
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